


the first

by lemonheadlester



Series: bingo fest [4]
Category: Phandom/The Fantastic Foursome (YouTube RPF)
Genre: Instagram, M/M, Social Media
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-10-15
Updated: 2018-10-15
Packaged: 2019-08-02 08:18:53
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 824
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16301486
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/lemonheadlester/pseuds/lemonheadlester
Summary: Dan is nervous about making the first instagram story





	the first

**Author's Note:**

> This is part 4/4 of my fics for the bingo fest
> 
> Prompt: ig stories

Dan exhales the breath he'd been holding in, letting his head fall to the piano keys and resting it there, a million things running through his mind. He doesn't want think about anything right now.

He feels like an idiot.  _Why does he have to turn every little thing he has to do in to something it doesn't need to be?_ It's like picking at a scab. The more he thinks, the more he dreads, the longer he waits, the worse it's going to be.

He does this shit for a living, but never like this. He can go through his videos and turn them into masterpieces, sharing something planned and professional with the world, but this is different. This kind of social media is far less planned, and nowhere near professional.

He likes to believe he's authentic. He tries not to put up façades or masks, but just to be as real as he can be, whilst still speaking in a scripted manner. It's a gift, to be somewhere in the middle of casual and staged, where it's  _just right._ That's the way it's been his whole career, so why is it so hard to just remove the diaphanous mask and have a normal conversation. A one-sided conversation with a screen.

Okay, maybe it's worse when he puts it that way. It's not like it's easy to treat millions of individuals as friends.

In the end he still had to make this work. He made a promise, not just to his followers but to himself. He's going to take this seemingly small step, and shatter the glass barrier in some aspects of his life between him and the rest of the world.

Phil tells him to only do something if he's comfortable with it, and he follows that advice, for the most part. Maybe he and Phil don't see eye to eye on the fact that he  _should_ be stepping out of his comfort zone, even if it's just a little bit.

 _How does Phil feel about all of this?_ He wonders, rubbing away his slowly subsiding headache with his sweaty thumbs.  _He's going to be posting stories too._

Phil always worried more about Dan than himself. Dan chuckles at the thought. He remembers the conversation he had with him just the other day, after they'd confirmed their implementation of Instagram stories into their lives while on tour.

_"You're not obligated, you know?"_

_"I know." Dan sighed, his head rested cozily on the former's shoulder. "But I want this to transition into me being able to be more open with them."_

_Phil just takes his hand. "I know, Dan. I know."_

Dan knows Phil would support him in anything, but what about vice versa? Phil never really had issues with expression. As awkward as he can be, he gets it. He knows how to be real, to be, well, more of his own person rather than a character in a fanfiction, and he does it without even having to talk about personal things the way Dan does. He's very open with his personality and sometimes Dan wonders how he does it. Either way, it doesn't matter. They're different people for a reason. There are many ways to be authentic.

 _He understands_ Dan thinks, standing up and pushing his chair away from the piano and back to his desk where he films live shows. He then sits back down at the piano bench. He's going to forget just for a second, who will be judging him. All he has to do is pretend he's talking to Phil, do what he promised himself he'd do. Be himself.

He's not here right now, but doesn't have to be. Dan can do whatever he wants with this, chose to be as one as he wants, take Phil's advice or not, whatever he wants. It doesn't matter. It's just as simple of thinking about what he wants to say, just as he would while filing a video, and then say it.

He adjusts his hair a bit before grabbing his phone and opening the app, smiling just a tad to hopefully not worry viewers in the very first story. This is a small slice of his life on display, in his corner, his space.

It's then he finally breathes,  _really_ just takes a deep breath and let's his instincts drive his words. He doesn't have to wonder how people will analyze him this time, how they'll pick apart every little detail in everything he says and does along with all of his surrounding like a thousand little therapists, trying to decipher him like they always do. It's nothing new to him when he think about it, not really.

It's in important step, and it's something he wants. In 'giving the people what they want' he might just be giving himself what he wants as well.

So he presses his thumb to the little circle and waves. "Hello Instagram."

~~~

**Author's Note:**

> come say hi on tumblr @lemonheadlester


End file.
